Shock Absorber

When you hear shock absorber, I bet what comes to your mind first is that which prevents you from feeling the jolts and vibrations whenever your car moves on a bad or rough road. Or when your car is making sudden breaks, or cornering.

However, this is not all that there is to say about shock absorbers. Of course, a mechanic or someone who uses a car will definitely say that the role of a shock absorber is to hold the car tyres firmly on the road and provide comfort for every ride, but have you thought about shock absorbers responsible for comfort and stability during your life journey?

What holds the tyres of your life, preventing them from sudden vibrations or skidding off the road into a pit or trap? What gives you comfort in your life journey? What is your shock absorber?

Is it your monthly salary or that job that ensures you receive alert often? Or is it your husband or wife who earns more than you and ensures you never lack? Or is it that philanthropist who you are certain was specifically sent to you? Is it your parents' wealth ? Perhaps it's your hustle? 

Your answer could be anyone of the above but do you know that money which is a general factor in all of the above isn't totally a guarantee of total comfort or joy? Yes Godly riches comes without sorrow but have you ever been in a situation where you received a credit alert  on your phone but are not satisfied and still want more? That should tell you, that money doesn't totally or always  give comfort. 

What or who then should you consider as your shock absorber? When you suddenly find yourself on rough edges or when you find yourself trying to balance your ride, what do you rely on or look up to? What about when unexpected things happen?

The answer to these questions, you already know. Sometimes we know the power of something but we downplay the power, thinking that it is no big deal or it isn't as serious and potent. 

God is your only sure shock absorber. You must never downplay the power or hold of God over your life or journey.

Not only will God guarantee your comfort and safety. He will also prevent you from getting lost or struggling. Especially when you encounter sudden vibrations, potholes or a shaking.

MONO PARENT

I never thought I’d have to write about this but then here I am writing. One of the most difficult tasks life gives is that of single parenting, be it the death of a parent or a case of divorce the absence of one of either parents leaves a void which is often difficult to fill. A single parent is saddled with the responsibilities of both parents and often times than not most people who find themselves in this position are usually not prepared for it. Not even when there are telltale signs earlier that they will eventually become one.

These parents battle with having to live without their partners, especially if such was a great loved one. They struggle to balance living above the hurt and forging ahead especially with the children ,the children who also share in the pain and challenges. Children, Old or young, male or female, still feel the absence of the missing parent . A void they as well struggle to fill. Even in cases where the remaining parent re-marries , there is still a longing , a persistent realization and reminder that one parent is gone.


Having experienced this situation myself and having friends around in the same shoes, I can say that one of the major challenges borne is the capacity to discuss the pain.Amongst other challenges which includes finances, frequent arguments and outbursts, negative character and attitude, negative pressure, in some cases restriction of movement to far distances either for business or pleasure, in younger children dangerous exposure to harm and abuse. The ability to sit and discuss the pain being felt is often absent especially in the family. Which further compounds other challenges? Most of us complain about worrisome and over protective fathers or nagging and over protective mothers. Why do people refuse to discuss their pain and hurt feelings, bottling it up and thereby remaining bitter?


I have seen people live through this situation successfully, living to tell their story, I have also seen people who have wasted away and have sunk in the sea of sorrow, depression and self pity, thereafter gone astray. Especially because they couldn’t discuss their pain, find solutions and live through it. Some people have driven themselves too hard in a bid to make up for their loss and get over hurt but have eventually had to discuss the pain they feel. Others have pretended to discuss their pain but have hidden their true pain and discussed just a few, these type of people eventually give in to outburst and with more pain discuss their pain.
Parenthood itself is challenging, single parenthood is therefore double challenging,the stress, the anxiety, the stigma in cases of divorce or irresponsible parent makes it a whole lot more. We can’t put an end to single parenting and its occurrence in the society, we can only help those in this situation find a way to live in gladness and fulfillment despite their disadvantage and pain.