MONO PARENT

I never thought I’d have to write about this but then here I am writing. One of the most difficult tasks life gives is that of single parenting, be it the death of a parent or a case of divorce the absence of one of either parents leaves a void which is often difficult to fill. A single parent is saddled with the responsibilities of both parents and often times than not most people who find themselves in this position are usually not prepared for it. Not even when there are telltale signs earlier that they will eventually become one.

These parents battle with having to live without their partners, especially if such was a great loved one. They struggle to balance living above the hurt and forging ahead especially with the children ,the children who also share in the pain and challenges. Children, Old or young, male or female, still feel the absence of the missing parent . A void they as well struggle to fill. Even in cases where the remaining parent re-marries , there is still a longing , a persistent realization and reminder that one parent is gone.


Having experienced this situation myself and having friends around in the same shoes, I can say that one of the major challenges borne is the capacity to discuss the pain.Amongst other challenges which includes finances, frequent arguments and outbursts, negative character and attitude, negative pressure, in some cases restriction of movement to far distances either for business or pleasure, in younger children dangerous exposure to harm and abuse. The ability to sit and discuss the pain being felt is often absent especially in the family. Which further compounds other challenges? Most of us complain about worrisome and over protective fathers or nagging and over protective mothers. Why do people refuse to discuss their pain and hurt feelings, bottling it up and thereby remaining bitter?


I have seen people live through this situation successfully, living to tell their story, I have also seen people who have wasted away and have sunk in the sea of sorrow, depression and self pity, thereafter gone astray. Especially because they couldn’t discuss their pain, find solutions and live through it. Some people have driven themselves too hard in a bid to make up for their loss and get over hurt but have eventually had to discuss the pain they feel. Others have pretended to discuss their pain but have hidden their true pain and discussed just a few, these type of people eventually give in to outburst and with more pain discuss their pain.
Parenthood itself is challenging, single parenthood is therefore double challenging,the stress, the anxiety, the stigma in cases of divorce or irresponsible parent makes it a whole lot more. We can’t put an end to single parenting and its occurrence in the society, we can only help those in this situation find a way to live in gladness and fulfillment despite their disadvantage and pain.