I woke up this morning, the harmattan so wild and despite shutting all my windows the cold chills still got me shivering under my cover cloth. I said to myself this season is worth writing about. There is something special about the last 10 days of the year. The weather changes all of a sudden, the atmosphere changes, excitement fills the air, people begin to prepare for holidays even private companies and conglomerates are forced to give holidays to their workers. It’s a season that knows no barriers, no restrictions, no dull moments. It’s a period of giving, sharing, meeting, reuniting, spending time with family and loved ones. Even the weather in this period is cool and relaxing (you will agree with me that harmattan is far better than heat).
What makes this season so special? Is it purely scientific? Is it the fact that we celebrate Christ, is it because of the geographic calendar? Or is it just meant to be?
Another fact to consider is stepping into the New Year. Could the fact that one is stepping into a new year be the reason for the season turnaround and excitement? According to Brian W. Carter, the word to describe this season is ‘joyful’. It is one of the busiest times of the year as well for store owners especially as people flock into stores to take advantage of sales and bargains, besides a lot of people want to shop for family and friends. People travel far and wide to be with loved ones throughout the nation and the world at this point in time.
Although there are people who do not celebrate the holiday due to their practices or beliefs but it is a proven fact that people naturally become happier at this time of the year. With individuals having different plans for the new year, new year resolutions some people even make it an obligation to enter into the new year as newly wedded couples, landlords or landlady, new car owners or new job owners. Everybody sees this period as a time to shed off the old and wear a new present or attitude.
I know that in years to come, if I have to write about this season again at this period, I would have interesting stories and testimonies to share more interesting facts and they will all be pointers to the fact that this season naturally encourages love, gladness and sharing. It’s a season that one wishes lasts forever.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Parent teen 2
In my first parent teen article, I categorized teenagers based on the type of parents who raised them and the type pf background/ environment they find themselves. The article continues with
THE WEEKEND PARENT RAISED TEEN
Oye’s father works far away from home, the only times he comes home are on weekends, he doesn’t even show up every weekend, Oye gets all she needs from her mother but she still wishes her father comes home frequently or even everyday like her friend’s father. She was always getting into one argument or the other with her mother. They were always fighting, her mother didn’t seem to understand why she needed her privacy, why
she didn’t like wearing a particular cloth as well. She also needed her father’s re-assuring words and encouragement.
Musa hates the fact that his father who was never around will suddenly show up one weekend trying to re-structure his life in a day. He hates the fact that his father who hardlyhad enough time to get to know him concluded easily about issues concerning him and even tries to make decisions for him. His father was always bossy, annoying and inconsiderate.
THE ABHORED TEEN
Damisi being a member of the school of thought that earrings, trousers, hair perming is a sin, Damisi’s parents prevented their daughter from using any of these. They decided what type of clothes to wear, where she could go and where she could spend her time doing. They never allowed her have friends or visit friends. Damisi secretly wishes she was free, able to express herself as well.
Kunle’s parents are uptight and domineering. They liked to enforce their beliefs and opinion. Kunle was their first child and they wanted him to be great, they wanted him to be the best amongst his equals. They never listened to his own point of view or ideas, they didn’t want him to get too convenient, they never wanted him to play with friends or have time for recreation, all they wanted was for him to gain admission to study medicine in the university.
Kunle was totally disturbed about his bothersome parents.
RICH PARENT RAISED TEEN
Yarinya is beautiful and always well dressed. Not only does she have all she wants she never lacks anything she desires. Except for the fact that her parents were too busy to be home relating with her. Her best friends, advisers and confidants were her friends, the maids and the driver. She hardly saw her parents, her mother was always travelling as well.
Ola’s parents are rich Christians and at the same time they have time to spend with him, he is lucky you would say, but there is one thing Ola desires, to be free, to have a feeling of making it on his own, doing things on his own, achieving feats without the help of his parents and their connections but Ola’s parents wouldn’t have it. They were ready to make life easy for their son to the last, even if it meant spending all their money or using all their connection and position in the society.
THE POORLY RAISED TEEN
Iyi is eighteen and he lives with a good samaritan who accepted to be his guardian when his parents fought and separated he was only fifteen then. His mother alone was left with the responsibility if catering for his siblings, she thereby left him in care of this guardian. Iyi in return helps his guardian with housechores as he gets food and shelter Iyi suffers low self esteem terribly, to crown it all, his guardian's children never relate with him as one of them. He blames his parents constantly and therefore harbours bitterness and pain in his heart.
Ego started working as a maid the minute she finished secondary school. First she worked as a canteen maid before becoming a maid to a widow and her children. Ego became the breadwinner of her family when her father lost his job and her mother's business dwindled. With so many mouths to cater for she hardly ever had time to do what young people did. Go to university and study, visit friends, have meaningful relationships and attend decent social gatherings. She lives in an enclosed world, where she hs no idea of what tomorrow holds..
I cannot say that teenagers born into this categories are less privileged or more prileged than each other. It is also not their fault as no one gets to choose the circumstances surrounding their births and families but then how to relate with teenagers and help teenagers in all of these categories successfully will be explained in the next article on parents and teens.
THE WEEKEND PARENT RAISED TEEN
Oye’s father works far away from home, the only times he comes home are on weekends, he doesn’t even show up every weekend, Oye gets all she needs from her mother but she still wishes her father comes home frequently or even everyday like her friend’s father. She was always getting into one argument or the other with her mother. They were always fighting, her mother didn’t seem to understand why she needed her privacy, why
she didn’t like wearing a particular cloth as well. She also needed her father’s re-assuring words and encouragement.
Musa hates the fact that his father who was never around will suddenly show up one weekend trying to re-structure his life in a day. He hates the fact that his father who hardlyhad enough time to get to know him concluded easily about issues concerning him and even tries to make decisions for him. His father was always bossy, annoying and inconsiderate.
THE ABHORED TEEN
Damisi being a member of the school of thought that earrings, trousers, hair perming is a sin, Damisi’s parents prevented their daughter from using any of these. They decided what type of clothes to wear, where she could go and where she could spend her time doing. They never allowed her have friends or visit friends. Damisi secretly wishes she was free, able to express herself as well.
Kunle’s parents are uptight and domineering. They liked to enforce their beliefs and opinion. Kunle was their first child and they wanted him to be great, they wanted him to be the best amongst his equals. They never listened to his own point of view or ideas, they didn’t want him to get too convenient, they never wanted him to play with friends or have time for recreation, all they wanted was for him to gain admission to study medicine in the university.
Kunle was totally disturbed about his bothersome parents.
RICH PARENT RAISED TEEN
Yarinya is beautiful and always well dressed. Not only does she have all she wants she never lacks anything she desires. Except for the fact that her parents were too busy to be home relating with her. Her best friends, advisers and confidants were her friends, the maids and the driver. She hardly saw her parents, her mother was always travelling as well.
Ola’s parents are rich Christians and at the same time they have time to spend with him, he is lucky you would say, but there is one thing Ola desires, to be free, to have a feeling of making it on his own, doing things on his own, achieving feats without the help of his parents and their connections but Ola’s parents wouldn’t have it. They were ready to make life easy for their son to the last, even if it meant spending all their money or using all their connection and position in the society.
THE POORLY RAISED TEEN
Iyi is eighteen and he lives with a good samaritan who accepted to be his guardian when his parents fought and separated he was only fifteen then. His mother alone was left with the responsibility if catering for his siblings, she thereby left him in care of this guardian. Iyi in return helps his guardian with housechores as he gets food and shelter Iyi suffers low self esteem terribly, to crown it all, his guardian's children never relate with him as one of them. He blames his parents constantly and therefore harbours bitterness and pain in his heart.
Ego started working as a maid the minute she finished secondary school. First she worked as a canteen maid before becoming a maid to a widow and her children. Ego became the breadwinner of her family when her father lost his job and her mother's business dwindled. With so many mouths to cater for she hardly ever had time to do what young people did. Go to university and study, visit friends, have meaningful relationships and attend decent social gatherings. She lives in an enclosed world, where she hs no idea of what tomorrow holds..
I cannot say that teenagers born into this categories are less privileged or more prileged than each other. It is also not their fault as no one gets to choose the circumstances surrounding their births and families but then how to relate with teenagers and help teenagers in all of these categories successfully will be explained in the next article on parents and teens.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Diary of an Ibadan corper 6
The months flew past and everything became routine like and monotonous. Temptations to stab CDS started coming, it was easy kind of, all I had to do was ask someone to sign for me, of course signature will be forged, but I still was unable to do it. you may say it is because I like being honest and avoiding untruthfulness, discrepancies and the likes, you may say I have a very active guilty conscience or maybe it’s the fact that I know that nothing comes free the person who helps me sign today will expect that I repay the “good deed” someday soon and God knows I don’t have such guts. Anyway bottom line is I couldn’t do it , so my trips to Ibadan north local government continued weekly.
The annoying queues came too as well as unending annoying addresses they usually gave, come to think of it, those address hardly benefitted one. It was either the local government inspector was complaining about indecent dressing or he was complaining about certain payments.
There was a time SAED ,skill acquisition training was compulsory.
So compulsory that without a SAED pass from whoever you are training with you are not allowed to sign monthly clearance, which implies that your allawee that month might go missing. So we had to keep up with SAED, some of us go to bribe our SAED trainers for clearance especially those who never attended classes or pay “training money” but then I had to pay training money at some points o. unfortunately the SAED that was compulsory later became optional after complaints got to the ogas at the top I think. You know SAED was actually supposed to be a good initiative initially, people learn handworks and crafts that might be useful to them even if they are unable to get jobs. But like every other initiative or innovation in Nigeria it was turned into an unscrupulous means of syphoning money.
Well there is good in bad and there is bad in good, as some people still benefited from this ventures, one of the good things I appreciate my NYSC experience for , one of the memorable things I participated in then was visits to the orphanage homes. Yes I was in charity CDS. We visited one particular orphanage one time, it was a special orphanage for abnormal children, I was shocked and amazed to see that in Nigeria we still have individuals who believe in disabled children. Everyone at the orphanage (special) that day was touched and withdrawn, we all couldn’t fathom how the owner of the orphanage and her co-workers and helpers are able to look at the children not to talk of care for them. I imagined what must be going on through the minds of these children, I wonder if they that something is wrong with them. I felt really sorry that there were teenagers and even adults amongst them who still looked like babies because of the disability.
As we sang for them they made gestures which implied that they were excited and happy. We were at least glad that we could do something for them that appealed to their emotions other than give them food and clothing. There are other experiences this Ibadan corper went through….. sharing experience continues
Monday, August 8, 2016
Your television might be killing you....
“that’s definitely not possible, at least in this generation”! my friend was quick to respond when I declared it would do young people more good to stay away from television.
Did somebody just say really? Yes really and seriously! A lot of young people today have problems with their academics because of excessive viewing , a teacher once complained bitterly about the fallen standard of education.
I am not saying that television is entirely bad, there are times when you watch certain interesting and benefitting programs but for those who spend an abnormal amount of time in front of a T.V its definitely killing you gradually.
It diminishes your IQ because it reduces your ability to think critically since while watching T.V the brain activities switches from left to right and the right side tends not to critically analyze incoming information. You waste certain hours of your life watching other people making money.
Excessive television viewing can increase your risk of premature death, this is because it has been linked to degenerative brain disorders later in life such as dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. If you are over the age of 25 every hour spent in front of the T.V cuts 22minutes off your life span! That can equate to five years worth if you watch T.V six hours a day which some people actually do!
Have you ever wondered why you feel tired, empty, headache after watching T.V for long hours? Its because while watching your brain shuts off, energy is sapped since it has no work to do ,remember the saying its either you use it or lose it! this goes for the brain too. Watching T.V also puts you into a form of hypnotic state that is why people sleep while watching T.V.
Reading which we find difficult is a better option. This is because when you read your brain has to use its imagination to come up with feelings described in a book or an article. Although there are a few television programs that give room for imaginative thinking, reading still performs a better job. Reduce the amount of time you spend watching T.V. determine to read more this increases your brain’s longevity.
Did somebody just say really? Yes really and seriously! A lot of young people today have problems with their academics because of excessive viewing , a teacher once complained bitterly about the fallen standard of education.
I am not saying that television is entirely bad, there are times when you watch certain interesting and benefitting programs but for those who spend an abnormal amount of time in front of a T.V its definitely killing you gradually.
It diminishes your IQ because it reduces your ability to think critically since while watching T.V the brain activities switches from left to right and the right side tends not to critically analyze incoming information. You waste certain hours of your life watching other people making money.
Excessive television viewing can increase your risk of premature death, this is because it has been linked to degenerative brain disorders later in life such as dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. If you are over the age of 25 every hour spent in front of the T.V cuts 22minutes off your life span! That can equate to five years worth if you watch T.V six hours a day which some people actually do!
Have you ever wondered why you feel tired, empty, headache after watching T.V for long hours? Its because while watching your brain shuts off, energy is sapped since it has no work to do ,remember the saying its either you use it or lose it! this goes for the brain too. Watching T.V also puts you into a form of hypnotic state that is why people sleep while watching T.V.
Reading which we find difficult is a better option. This is because when you read your brain has to use its imagination to come up with feelings described in a book or an article. Although there are a few television programs that give room for imaginative thinking, reading still performs a better job. Reduce the amount of time you spend watching T.V. determine to read more this increases your brain’s longevity.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
As baked as biscuit..
As I watched the biscuit shaped dough go into the oven, I began to analyse and examine the processes the dough undergoes. The moulding stage, the baking stage which involves heat at different stages at temperatures above 100 degrees before it finally comes out has “ready to eat” biscuit.
The biscuit oven has 3 zones, zone 1, zone 2 and zone 3. At each zone, different processes occur at different temperatures and heat level. At the first and second zone, the moisture in the dough is eliminated and proofing begins, the dough rises and forms at these stages, structure and texture is determined at this stages as well. While the third zone is responsible for the biscuit colour.
Dough is made to pass through thorough mixing, kneading ,proofing and baking just before it comes out as biscuit. All of the various processes and treatments the dough is made to go through is usually forgotten as soon as the biscuit is out of the oven and ready to eat.
My point exactly ? As ordinary dough has to go through all these before it becomes delicious and wanted, human beings on the face of the earth are made to go through likewise different unpalatable stages, sometimes the heat gets too much and unlike the dough we complain and try to get out.
When the heat gets too much for the semi
The priceless look of satisfaction on the face of the mixer, the moulder, the checker and the oven man supercedes the processes and stress before the biscuit comes out.
All in all, we must always remember that nothing good comes easy, nothing worthwhile comes cheap, we must be ready to pass through the heat just as dough to come out refined, valuable, beneficial and useful.
The biscuit oven has 3 zones, zone 1, zone 2 and zone 3. At each zone, different processes occur at different temperatures and heat level. At the first and second zone, the moisture in the dough is eliminated and proofing begins, the dough rises and forms at these stages, structure and texture is determined at this stages as well. While the third zone is responsible for the biscuit colour.
Dough is made to pass through thorough mixing, kneading ,proofing and baking just before it comes out as biscuit. All of the various processes and treatments the dough is made to go through is usually forgotten as soon as the biscuit is out of the oven and ready to eat.
My point exactly ? As ordinary dough has to go through all these before it becomes delicious and wanted, human beings on the face of the earth are made to go through likewise different unpalatable stages, sometimes the heat gets too much and unlike the dough we complain and try to get out.
When the heat gets too much for the semi
cooked dough and it seems the biscuit is about to come out burnt and useless, the oven man is quick to detect and adjust the temperature, he lets out some heat. . In the end the outcome is the reward . But we as humans usually forget that God, our own oven man is set and ever ready to help us if the heat becomes too much so that we can still come out fine and attractive.
The priceless look of satisfaction on the face of the mixer, the moulder, the checker and the oven man supercedes the processes and stress before the biscuit comes out.
All in all, we must always remember that nothing good comes easy, nothing worthwhile comes cheap, we must be ready to pass through the heat just as dough to come out refined, valuable, beneficial and useful.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
This Niger Delta issue...
The conflict in the Niger Delta started in the early 1990s over tensions between foreign oil corporation and a number of the Niger Delta’s minority ethnic groups who feel they are being exploited particularly the Ogoni and the Ijaw people. Petroleum having being discovered in Ogoniland and Ijawland brought about competition for oil wealth and violence between many ethnic groups causing the militarization of nearly the entire region by ethnic militia groups as well as Nigerian military and police forces.
Several killings, brutality, unjust ill treatments , all manners of wicked punishments have been meted out on innocent people. Violence, destruction of lives and properties as well kept occurring all because the Nigerian government failed to protect and care for the people on whose land 85% of Nigeria’s wealth came from. The oil companies who kept benefiting at the expense of the lives and existence of the
Niger Delta people tried to help protect them from the consequences of oil spills, but either through bad governance or selfish acts, the people needing this help hardly got it. Negligible compensation was offered them and constant empty promises of benefits kept coming.
Truly some measures were taken in the year 2000 (NDDC) by president Obasanjo with the aim of developing the petroleum rich Niger Delta region of southern Nigeria, presidential amnesty programs all in a bid to compensate for the lost lives and properties. But chronic poverty, catastrophic oil pollution which have prevented aquatic life and some of the inhabitants of the Niger Delta from drinking their water and practicing farming remained unsettled and unfortunately it seems that the amnesty program ended along with the Goodluck Jonathan administration in 2015.
Some weeks ago, a group of people who recently arose calling themselves the Niger Delta avengers congratulated themselves for being able to shut down 50 percent of Nigeria’s crude oil production without taking innocent life. Three months ago when this group of people launched their attacks, the spokesperson declared " we are the Niger Delta Avengers: a group of educated and we'll travelled individuals that are poised to take the Niger Delta struggle to new heights that has never been seen in this nation before. We have well equipped human resources to meet this goal. These group of people have sworn to totally ruin the Nigerian oil production and the major source of growth of the Nigerian economy.
This they are already on the process of achieving as Nigeria’’s oil production which was budgeted to be 2.2millon barrels per day has been reduced to 1.65million per day.
This group of determined militants keep blowing up refineries and underwater pipelines thereby crippling the activities of oil companies in the zone. All of these having major effects on the economy of Nigeria and in general the oil industry.
Inasmuch as I do not support violence and crime, and destroying the nation’s economy as the answer, the Niger Delta Avengers whoever they are, from their name seem to be fighting a course. Some speculations believe they are a creation of the ex-president to thwart efforts made by President Buhari , some other people, ex militants and in general members of the ijaw people have disclaimed this group, claiming they have no knowledge of the course , they have also described them as criminals and political tools who should be dealt with. But have we sat down to think of what they mean by calling themselves avengers? Do we have an idea of what they claim to be avenging? Why do they want to have a republic of their own? Somebody might say this is just another terrorist group as the Boko Haram but I disagree. The situations surrounding the birth of this militant group are quite different from that of Boko haram. Do we remember how much sufferings the Niger Delta people and other oil regions have been made to undergo and are still undergoing without compensation? I know that we are not supposed to sit around and blame the government again, but do we not see that in a way Nigeria is paying for the sins of the past? What efforts have the governors and leaders of the Niger Delta states made to ensure peace and progress in their states and regions? What efforts have been made to alleviate the oil spills, lack of practicing agriculture in the region?
Eventually, either by dialogue , amnesty or prosecution these set of people will be stopped but we as a nation need to figure out, how to move forward from our mess, right our wrongs, make amends no matter the cost at the same time fill up loopholes from the past and present. We should as well take responsibilities for our actions, find out ways to help ourselves even if our government keep failing us..I believe we have leaders in this nation, to spearhead goals and solutions to our many problems...As for the Niger Delta Avengers, causing more oil spill and destruction of more properties isn't the way forward. Political tools or not, a son doesn't destroy his father's home because his father had refused to care for him.
Enough of groups or sects which are toxic to the environment, enough of instigating young people against their state and nation, enough of this selfishness, pain and hurt driven sects..
someone has to rise up and think differently, think from the other side and act wisely so that in some few years to come , we won't be dealing with some other rising militant groups.
Several killings, brutality, unjust ill treatments , all manners of wicked punishments have been meted out on innocent people. Violence, destruction of lives and properties as well kept occurring all because the Nigerian government failed to protect and care for the people on whose land 85% of Nigeria’s wealth came from. The oil companies who kept benefiting at the expense of the lives and existence of the
Niger Delta people tried to help protect them from the consequences of oil spills, but either through bad governance or selfish acts, the people needing this help hardly got it. Negligible compensation was offered them and constant empty promises of benefits kept coming.
Truly some measures were taken in the year 2000 (NDDC) by president Obasanjo with the aim of developing the petroleum rich Niger Delta region of southern Nigeria, presidential amnesty programs all in a bid to compensate for the lost lives and properties. But chronic poverty, catastrophic oil pollution which have prevented aquatic life and some of the inhabitants of the Niger Delta from drinking their water and practicing farming remained unsettled and unfortunately it seems that the amnesty program ended along with the Goodluck Jonathan administration in 2015.
Some weeks ago, a group of people who recently arose calling themselves the Niger Delta avengers congratulated themselves for being able to shut down 50 percent of Nigeria’s crude oil production without taking innocent life. Three months ago when this group of people launched their attacks, the spokesperson declared " we are the Niger Delta Avengers: a group of educated and we'll travelled individuals that are poised to take the Niger Delta struggle to new heights that has never been seen in this nation before. We have well equipped human resources to meet this goal. These group of people have sworn to totally ruin the Nigerian oil production and the major source of growth of the Nigerian economy.
This they are already on the process of achieving as Nigeria’’s oil production which was budgeted to be 2.2millon barrels per day has been reduced to 1.65million per day.
This group of determined militants keep blowing up refineries and underwater pipelines thereby crippling the activities of oil companies in the zone. All of these having major effects on the economy of Nigeria and in general the oil industry.
Inasmuch as I do not support violence and crime, and destroying the nation’s economy as the answer, the Niger Delta Avengers whoever they are, from their name seem to be fighting a course. Some speculations believe they are a creation of the ex-president to thwart efforts made by President Buhari , some other people, ex militants and in general members of the ijaw people have disclaimed this group, claiming they have no knowledge of the course , they have also described them as criminals and political tools who should be dealt with. But have we sat down to think of what they mean by calling themselves avengers? Do we have an idea of what they claim to be avenging? Why do they want to have a republic of their own? Somebody might say this is just another terrorist group as the Boko Haram but I disagree. The situations surrounding the birth of this militant group are quite different from that of Boko haram. Do we remember how much sufferings the Niger Delta people and other oil regions have been made to undergo and are still undergoing without compensation? I know that we are not supposed to sit around and blame the government again, but do we not see that in a way Nigeria is paying for the sins of the past? What efforts have the governors and leaders of the Niger Delta states made to ensure peace and progress in their states and regions? What efforts have been made to alleviate the oil spills, lack of practicing agriculture in the region?
Eventually, either by dialogue , amnesty or prosecution these set of people will be stopped but we as a nation need to figure out, how to move forward from our mess, right our wrongs, make amends no matter the cost at the same time fill up loopholes from the past and present. We should as well take responsibilities for our actions, find out ways to help ourselves even if our government keep failing us..I believe we have leaders in this nation, to spearhead goals and solutions to our many problems...As for the Niger Delta Avengers, causing more oil spill and destruction of more properties isn't the way forward. Political tools or not, a son doesn't destroy his father's home because his father had refused to care for him.
Enough of groups or sects which are toxic to the environment, enough of instigating young people against their state and nation, enough of this selfishness, pain and hurt driven sects..
someone has to rise up and think differently, think from the other side and act wisely so that in some few years to come , we won't be dealing with some other rising militant groups.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
DIary of an Ibadan corper 5
As he encouraged me to go on a bike, I realized he only kept quiet all through the car journey to allow Mr. slender have his time. He wasn’t as gentle as I had thought. But we got to the local government and thank God I wasn’t expecting much, I brought out my fare to pay the bike man and he brought out exactly his own fare too. He didn’t offer to pay at all, he just paid and walked on I was surprised. But more surprised and disappointed was I when I walked into the local government and saw about one thousand corpers or more pushing, shouting , screaming at each other. All trying to sign, this connoted that we had been counted. To crown it all it began to drizzle, I didn’t know whether to cry or scream! I walked closer and joined the struggle. It was bad, I mean really bad. Some corpers who still ha long distances to go even had to branch , they tried to see if they could participate in the headcount. Because they obviously knew they would never get to their stations that day.
I wish I had eaten before setting out that day. Infact I wish I had just left the rain and gone to seat somewhere till the rain stopped. Because later that day I realized that some people only had to send money to some officials to get signed. Some just came on the following Monday, despite threats of it closing on Sunday to sign with ease. Some even came later in the evening that same Sunday to sign can you imagine how angry I was when I learnt of this? All that struggle and suffering when I could have just taken courage and waited till later in the evening. My friend told me after that day, that has she washed her dirty tennis and corper uniform she made a vow never to rush, push or stress unnecessarily on NYSC queues again. But then it was a lie, is there anything you wont queue for in Ibadan north local government?
I wish I had eaten before setting out that day. Infact I wish I had just left the rain and gone to seat somewhere till the rain stopped. Because later that day I realized that some people only had to send money to some officials to get signed. Some just came on the following Monday, despite threats of it closing on Sunday to sign with ease. Some even came later in the evening that same Sunday to sign can you imagine how angry I was when I learnt of this? All that struggle and suffering when I could have just taken courage and waited till later in the evening. My friend told me after that day, that has she washed her dirty tennis and corper uniform she made a vow never to rush, push or stress unnecessarily on NYSC queues again. But then it was a lie, is there anything you wont queue for in Ibadan north local government?
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Parent-teen tips (Tips to parenting)
I know that I m yet to be a parent, I m also not a teenager but I can assure you that I believe in this article that I have put together and I hope that someone somewhere will read this and realise this is true.. this is how it goes...
A teenager is a young person whose age falls within the range 13-19. They are called teenagers because their age number ends with TEEN. This stage is also referred to as adolescence stage. The period of transition from childhood to adulthood. In the past teenagers used to be those sets of people who believe that nobody understands them.
Teenagers used to be those people who always have problems with their parents and the society at large, those set of people who live in a world of their own having ideas which seem crazy and unattainable to their parents. These set of people who know more than you think they know. Well that is what it still is today, if any change can be said to have occurred it is the fact that more evolutions have occurred and all of these characteristics teenagers possess has skyrocketed.
No more house rules or curfews because they never work, you are not even allowed to meet all of their friends or know about what is happening in school or their relationships with the opposite sexes. The complexity of our world today has also not helped matters at all. The influx of single parents, unwanted pregnancy situations, weekend parents, extremely strict parents in the society has been a contributing factor to all of the fact that teenagers today have become wilder and more vulnerable to vices. Lets discuss each category of teenagers based on this.
THE SINGLE PARENT RAISED TEEN
These are teenagers raised by a single parent. Either by just the father or just the mother. Single parenting is tough but single parents of teenagers have a lot more to deal with. Independence, trust and honesty are even greater challenges in a single parent - teen relationship.
Biola is fourteen, her mother died when she was ten. She has a younger sister who is nine, they have since been living with her father who seemed to prefer remaining single to another marriage. Biola has reasons to believe her father is sleeping with women but she chooses to ignore that fact, her father leaves home a awful lot of time he claims to have different business meetings. Most times Biola and her younger sister have to sleep in their neighbor’s home. Biola started her menstrual period and she had no one to run to but the neighbors, several other needs and that of her sister’s that should have been met by her parents was kept hidden from her father. Because the neighbors started complaining Biola started relying more on her friends in school, she started getting solace from friends. This left her father in the dark and kept him annoyed. To worsen the case, he would beat her up whenever he was angry at her or whenever she lied which she did often. Biola’s father is on the verge of losing his teenage daughter but he doesn’t know it yet…
Boye is fifteen; he lives alone with his mother. His father had never been around all his life, he only sent him clothes, shoes, random gifts and money once in a while. This was the only constant awareness of his father he had. He and his mother are never on good terms, to Boye she simply doesn’t understand him. To his mother, she would never leave him alone to turn out irresponsible , she didn’t want anyone to have any reason to say her son didn’t do well because he was raised only by his mother. But she unconsciously put pressure on her son, sending him to find solace in
the society and from peers rather than in her as his mother. She was also sowing the seed of pain, hostility and hard heartedness in him but she didn’t know it.
Single parents seem to have a lot on their hands more than any other. To deal rightly with your teenager as a single parent you have to be ready to ask for help.
Engage any support network, friends or family you may have, ask sisters, brothers and grandparents to call and check in on your child if he or she is home alone.
Talk to your child about the fact that you can’t be there all the time and let him/her know what you expect.
Give your child the opportunity to be free, to find his/her own way, to make money or earn favours, to go out with friends. More importantly know your child’s friends, listen and pay attention to your teenager, give independence but still talk to your teenager. Above all make time to talk to your child and do things together when you are home. Single parents have tendency to over parent or on the contrary under parent. This should be avoided, never grow away from the child at the same time never get in the child’s way.
To be continued...
A teenager is a young person whose age falls within the range 13-19. They are called teenagers because their age number ends with TEEN. This stage is also referred to as adolescence stage. The period of transition from childhood to adulthood. In the past teenagers used to be those sets of people who believe that nobody understands them.
Teenagers used to be those people who always have problems with their parents and the society at large, those set of people who live in a world of their own having ideas which seem crazy and unattainable to their parents. These set of people who know more than you think they know. Well that is what it still is today, if any change can be said to have occurred it is the fact that more evolutions have occurred and all of these characteristics teenagers possess has skyrocketed.
No more house rules or curfews because they never work, you are not even allowed to meet all of their friends or know about what is happening in school or their relationships with the opposite sexes. The complexity of our world today has also not helped matters at all. The influx of single parents, unwanted pregnancy situations, weekend parents, extremely strict parents in the society has been a contributing factor to all of the fact that teenagers today have become wilder and more vulnerable to vices. Lets discuss each category of teenagers based on this.
THE SINGLE PARENT RAISED TEEN
These are teenagers raised by a single parent. Either by just the father or just the mother. Single parenting is tough but single parents of teenagers have a lot more to deal with. Independence, trust and honesty are even greater challenges in a single parent - teen relationship.
Biola is fourteen, her mother died when she was ten. She has a younger sister who is nine, they have since been living with her father who seemed to prefer remaining single to another marriage. Biola has reasons to believe her father is sleeping with women but she chooses to ignore that fact, her father leaves home a awful lot of time he claims to have different business meetings. Most times Biola and her younger sister have to sleep in their neighbor’s home. Biola started her menstrual period and she had no one to run to but the neighbors, several other needs and that of her sister’s that should have been met by her parents was kept hidden from her father. Because the neighbors started complaining Biola started relying more on her friends in school, she started getting solace from friends. This left her father in the dark and kept him annoyed. To worsen the case, he would beat her up whenever he was angry at her or whenever she lied which she did often. Biola’s father is on the verge of losing his teenage daughter but he doesn’t know it yet…
Boye is fifteen; he lives alone with his mother. His father had never been around all his life, he only sent him clothes, shoes, random gifts and money once in a while. This was the only constant awareness of his father he had. He and his mother are never on good terms, to Boye she simply doesn’t understand him. To his mother, she would never leave him alone to turn out irresponsible , she didn’t want anyone to have any reason to say her son didn’t do well because he was raised only by his mother. But she unconsciously put pressure on her son, sending him to find solace in
the society and from peers rather than in her as his mother. She was also sowing the seed of pain, hostility and hard heartedness in him but she didn’t know it.
Single parents seem to have a lot on their hands more than any other. To deal rightly with your teenager as a single parent you have to be ready to ask for help.
Engage any support network, friends or family you may have, ask sisters, brothers and grandparents to call and check in on your child if he or she is home alone.
Talk to your child about the fact that you can’t be there all the time and let him/her know what you expect.
Give your child the opportunity to be free, to find his/her own way, to make money or earn favours, to go out with friends. More importantly know your child’s friends, listen and pay attention to your teenager, give independence but still talk to your teenager. Above all make time to talk to your child and do things together when you are home. Single parents have tendency to over parent or on the contrary under parent. This should be avoided, never grow away from the child at the same time never get in the child’s way.
To be continued...
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