DANGEROUS CRITICS

DANGEROUS CRITICS

Have you ever felt so bad  after someone passed a comment? Has anyone ever made you feel so bad about yourself? have you ever received comments that dampen your spirit? Have you ever felt worthless? If yes ,then you have just encountered a critic and a dangerous one at that.

To be criticized means to say that you disapprove of somebody or something or to judge the good and the bad qualities of something.  You cannot avoid criticism. Aristotle once said “criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing”

Constructive criticism is good but criticism that makes you feel bad about yourself, that is set to degrade and discourage you not necessarily to correct you should be avoided.

Its worse for people who get easily affected by what others say. I mean people who live on public opinion and acceptance. If you are somebody seeks approval from people or that takes in what everybody says about you, you might nee to have a re-think and start working on it because believe me you are going to meet several people whose aim is just to destroy your self esteem. some won’t even know they are hurting you. Sanguines   are very prone to being affected by what people say because of their extrovert , outgoing ’here comes the star’ nature.

What then can people like this do? First you need to know that you do not need anybody’s approval to be great. You are not living your life to please anybody except God. You might ask yourself  “ are there a particular set of people who constantly criticize me?  which group do this set of people belong? “are they my rivals in any way?are they people I have offended in my day to day dealings? “are they people who are less popular than I am? Or trying to get something I already have?”

Ask this questions because research has proven that over 60% of people who criticize you wrongly are either aware of the fact that you are affected by people’s comment and just want to play with your feelings or they know you’ve got what they don’t have which is really  an headache for them.

Another peculiar reason is  when things seem to go well for you  or you are gradually getting to the peak of your career or everything about you seems cool, you’ve never been involved in a scandal, you don’t sweat to catch attention, people who aren’t as much as lucky around may definitely want to bring you down at all cost because they just cant afford to leave you to become a spectacle for all to see! It may sound  awkward and unbelievable but its true.

HOW TO RECOGNISE A DANGEROUS CRITIC

Someone that gives a comment ‘cynthia you have grown so big what have you been eating? in the next few years I wonder how you will look this doesn’t really fit you,you look like you are 5yrs older than you are you really have to watch it’’ cynthia might end up skipping meals all in the name of slimming down. She might also carry a poor self image because of this degenerate into low self esteem.

Another person gives a comment Ade ‘ you  draw only objects and materials, why do you draw just inanimate objects? is it that you cant  draw other things?  drawing non living things makes your drawings boring. It doesn’t prove you as talented . you could stop drawing for now and look into something else’ Ade might find it hard to believe his drawings are appreciated by other people.

Constructive criticism is  “Cynthia you look big and cute,  what you have been eating really soothes you but you should cut down on some fatty foods so that you will keep looking cute and won’t gain more weight.

“Ade you really draw well, you could try figure drawing, sketches as well as pantings too. I m sure you will really do well.

DEALING WITH DANGEROUS CRITICISM

No matter how dangerous and bad a critic is, he/she is passing a  message as well as a need for change.  The manner in which the message is given is what differentiates a constructive criticism from a bad one.  So always pick what is useful in whatever is said and leave the rest.

Remind yourself, my worth is not determined by anybody. Anybody can say what they want, it doesn’t mean they are right. Never limit yourself to negative thought or other people’s beliefs.

Stay calm, work on your shortcomings, pursue your goals and dreams relentlessly, pray and be cool.

                                        ORIJA OLUWAPONMILE

                                                  ff @o_ponmile

                                          oluwaponmileorija@yahoo.com