I just had sex!
It was few days to Valentine, I already had an odd feeling, something different was going to happen this particular Valentine. I could feel it considering the fact that I just recently said "yes" to Yanju. My heart skipped even at the thought of him.
He was the center of my world, everything I had ever wanted in a man. There was hardly anything I couldn't do for him, I would rush through my daily activities just so I will have time to visit him or go out with him later in the day. We were inseparable and our friends knew us, the fact that we had been friends for almost 8yrs before I finally said yes made our bond an unbreakable one. So you can imagine how I felt the first time Yanju trIED to make love to me.
It wasn't that I felt it was wrong or that I didn't want to sleep with him , as a matter of fact I wanted to have sex with Yanju. All those stories I had read and heard about , movies I'd seen, emotions that kept rising, my imaginations, the romantic periods we shared, I wanted to see them and feel them happen to me. But I'd also read severally that it was best to abstain till after wedding, I'd also seen cases of men leaving ladies after they had, had enough of their bodies. I was scared of losing Yanju, at the same time I didn't want to lose him because of my refusal. So I did what I felt was reasonable at that moment, I begged Yanju , I pleaded with him to hold on till our wedding. After what seemed like ages he grudgingly agreed. I was so relieved.
Valentine's day came and I felt no other day could have gone better. Yanju made me feel on top of the world, I felt really good. I honestly didn't want the day to end, after the cinema , we had lunch and Yanju kept swearing his undying love. We went shopping at the best malls in town. It was getting late by then and I thought Yanju was done thrilling me, but to my utmost awe and surprise, he drove us straight to the beach. I was overwhelmed, I'd never been to a beach, so much fun in one day? I was at a point where virtually all Yanju did was right and acceptable. Even when I knew it wasn't.
The day ended at his apartment, as we entered my heart began to beat fast, a sudden headache gripped me. So much had happened during the day and it would be "heartless" of me and even difficult to say no to whatever Yanju wanted. As Yanju started to kiss me and I responded, I felt myself letting go.
As we got on the bed and our romance deepened, I kept ignoring the tiny warning the little common sense I had left was giving. I closed my eyes and shut my thinking faculty, I just wanted to enjoy the moment, the kisses, the touching, it was pleasing to me. Suddenly Yanju came on top of me, it was as if realisation dawned on me, I was about to do "it"? I hesitated a bit and then with the whole of my strength pushed him off me. It was unexpected and I saw his confusion, I stood to my feet and he began to apologise for leading me on. I was filled with mixed feelings, Yanju had been good to me and he wasn't forcing me to do anything, I had been responding to all he did of my own free will. I looked at him on the bed, those sexy eyes and inviting lips, his bulging trunk and without thinking , I swung back into his arms.
As I lay there right beside the heavily snoring man, I wondered how I let it happen. How could I have let my guards down? I Had just had sex! another part of me wondered, was I good enough? My body ached all over with pain, was this how it was supposed to be? But why do I feel so ashamed? why do I feel so horrible as if I just disappointed someone? what if I become......? My heart missed a beat at the thought of becoming pregnant.
I was hurt not because of the physical pain I felt but because I felt incomplete, empty and spent. Nobody told me I was to expect this ..Nobody....
These series is fiction and its from my "I just had sex" series...an awareness towards the ills of sex before marriage.
He was the center of my world, everything I had ever wanted in a man. There was hardly anything I couldn't do for him, I would rush through my daily activities just so I will have time to visit him or go out with him later in the day. We were inseparable and our friends knew us, the fact that we had been friends for almost 8yrs before I finally said yes made our bond an unbreakable one. So you can imagine how I felt the first time Yanju trIED to make love to me.
It wasn't that I felt it was wrong or that I didn't want to sleep with him , as a matter of fact I wanted to have sex with Yanju. All those stories I had read and heard about , movies I'd seen, emotions that kept rising, my imaginations, the romantic periods we shared, I wanted to see them and feel them happen to me. But I'd also read severally that it was best to abstain till after wedding, I'd also seen cases of men leaving ladies after they had, had enough of their bodies. I was scared of losing Yanju, at the same time I didn't want to lose him because of my refusal. So I did what I felt was reasonable at that moment, I begged Yanju , I pleaded with him to hold on till our wedding. After what seemed like ages he grudgingly agreed. I was so relieved.
Valentine's day came and I felt no other day could have gone better. Yanju made me feel on top of the world, I felt really good. I honestly didn't want the day to end, after the cinema , we had lunch and Yanju kept swearing his undying love. We went shopping at the best malls in town. It was getting late by then and I thought Yanju was done thrilling me, but to my utmost awe and surprise, he drove us straight to the beach. I was overwhelmed, I'd never been to a beach, so much fun in one day? I was at a point where virtually all Yanju did was right and acceptable. Even when I knew it wasn't.
The day ended at his apartment, as we entered my heart began to beat fast, a sudden headache gripped me. So much had happened during the day and it would be "heartless" of me and even difficult to say no to whatever Yanju wanted. As Yanju started to kiss me and I responded, I felt myself letting go.
As we got on the bed and our romance deepened, I kept ignoring the tiny warning the little common sense I had left was giving. I closed my eyes and shut my thinking faculty, I just wanted to enjoy the moment, the kisses, the touching, it was pleasing to me. Suddenly Yanju came on top of me, it was as if realisation dawned on me, I was about to do "it"? I hesitated a bit and then with the whole of my strength pushed him off me. It was unexpected and I saw his confusion, I stood to my feet and he began to apologise for leading me on. I was filled with mixed feelings, Yanju had been good to me and he wasn't forcing me to do anything, I had been responding to all he did of my own free will. I looked at him on the bed, those sexy eyes and inviting lips, his bulging trunk and without thinking , I swung back into his arms.
As I lay there right beside the heavily snoring man, I wondered how I let it happen. How could I have let my guards down? I Had just had sex! another part of me wondered, was I good enough? My body ached all over with pain, was this how it was supposed to be? But why do I feel so ashamed? why do I feel so horrible as if I just disappointed someone? what if I become......? My heart missed a beat at the thought of becoming pregnant.
I was hurt not because of the physical pain I felt but because I felt incomplete, empty and spent. Nobody told me I was to expect this ..Nobody....
These series is fiction and its from my "I just had sex" series...an awareness towards the ills of sex before marriage.
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